Before you start reading, I wrote this in short snippets on a day to day basis, it isn’t a well written piece by any means but if you are interested keep reading!!! Link here to order: (https://pureofficial.shop/shop/?gclid=CjwKCAjwq-TmBRBdEiwAaO1en73krdzC25aB80cjTU5RJK5kNW-C5CSwnilov2kuHxx1MGsAOV5JBhoCNzMQAvD_BwE )
Two years ago, I did a “cleanse” with my mom. It was called Purium- all her friends were doing it and they made it sound like a breeze. Something like an infomercial “It changed my life!”, “I have no cravings”, “I lost ten pounds in ten days”. So, naturally we hopped on the Purium train.
Back then, I was 20 and was a full-time summer nanny to three wonderful kids.
My experience then was that Purium kinda sucked. You don’t eat much, you drink these frankly sweet, funky “green machine” tasting shakes three times a day to supplement regular food.
So, two years ago, from what I can remember went well. I didn’t cheat, much. I only occasionally would steal a bite of pasta or eat more than the allotted amount per meal, and its true my cravings did go away. BUT the first couple days are shit. You are hungry and irritable that everyone else can eat and your stuck there twiddling your thumbs and wishing you could have a fat bowl of ice-cream. By day 9 last time I had almost completely developed my own rules, and I had a major cheat on the last day because I ended up drinking tequila. This is a dry cleanse, so that was a big no no. Ended with me extremely more drunk than usual and with a horrible sunburn. Overall, last time I lost a lot of weight and actual INCHES of my thighs (the part of my body I gain weight in the most) so I was happy, but happier to be done, and dig into a pizza.
Before anyone jumps at me like, hey, you’re fine, you don’t need to diet… blah blah blah. I don’t want one ounce of unsolicited advice. I have been through thicker and thinner times in my life, but this… This is about health. Being healthy. If that means I lose 5lbs or gain five pounds (hey if I am lookin’ tone with a big ole’ booty) I am not going to complain. But also, it is important to feel your best, and whatever that means for you… is, well, best.
Fast forward to 2019. Today has been frickin’ rough. I was all gung-ho this morning ready with my shake, avocado, arugula, and assortment of pills.
The pills and food are the easy bit. Forcing the shake down my throat is…well, horrible. I mentally prepared for the sickeningly sweet yet earthy taste of the shake. I took a deep breathe and one, two, three. It was bad… I honestly suffered through it but couldn’t finish the last sip or two. The good thing about the shake is that is makes you feel full for a moment. Moving onto lunch I had arugula salad with lemon. It was honestly fire but less than an hour has passed and I’m still hungry.
My second shake of the day went down way easier, I put less water, so I did it as more of a shot, which honestly worked v well for me. It didn’t really “fill” me, but I followed it up with a big glass of water which helped.
Okay, so after work I went home and my mom made me some spinach sautéed with tomatoes (kinda cheating, whoops. Tomatoes aren’t explicitly not allowed but aren’t encouraged, also we couldn’t find our coconut oil so we used lemon and a tiny amount of olive oil). Anyway, this paired with the “Love” Dr Brew Kombucha and I felt fantastic. I also had homemade almond milk with sugarless cocoa (just a small amount) and cinnamon to mimic a sort of healthy hot cocoa. This actually provided me with a lot of energy. After taking my supplement pills I headed to my boxing class. On this cleanse it is SO important that if you work out you hydrate extremely well. I felt a little beat at classes end but that is normal for me, it was 9:00 and almost bedtime.
As I said earlier my mom and I did this cleanse two years ago- the last aspect of the day (after your 3rd shake, which I skipped and had an apple) is that you use some of this cherry flavored extract(?) and you put it in a cup of water and drink it. I, NATURALLY, went in our fridge and found the bottle labled “Apothic Cherry” I poured two table spoons into a big glass of water and began to chug. It tasted off, putrid is even the term I would use. I turn to my mom explaining just how gross it was and she goes, “omg, check the expiration”. So, it expired in December of 2017. After that I was so thrown, I got a regular glass of water and clambered into bed.
This morning was quite nice, I didn’t wake up that hungry. I took my pills and when I got to work had some berries and apple. I felt less hungry than I did yesterday although it is pure torture to watch my co-workers dive into their carb and meat filled breakfast while I am eating a handful of raspberries. Now it has been about two hours since I ate my “breakfast” and the first shake is coming up.
CUT TO, next shake, went down fine and I don’t feel that hungry after. I am drinking a ton of water though and peeing every 15 minutes. I ate some lunch just now, it was delicious, and I wasn’t so full immediately after but I feel pretty good now. I would say second day vibes are definitely better than the first. I are some food, I had the same as last night spinach and tomatoes.
Second shake today was also fine. Just that, I feel like I’m finally getting into a routine with this. I am getting a little hungry cant wait to get home after work and get a snack. Unfortunately, I have to run an errand and make it to therapy on time so my snack may have to wait until about 6:15pm, it is currently 3:35 so that’s ROUGH.
Last night went well, by the time I got home I wasn’t too hungry so I just snacked a bit (one apple) and drank water before going to bed.
This morning was also fine, I packed a cucumber, tomatoes, arugula, spinach, kombucha, and berries. For breakfast I had some berries and cucumber. I did my first shake successfully and drank my kombucha. I am honestly not feeling to aggressively hungry, but ready for a little lunchtime salad.
Today, I am going out for a coworkers bday, SO. I am bending the rule of no booze a bit and going to drink strictly vodka soda with lemon. I also must watch my alcohol intake intensely due to the fact that I am intaking wayyy less calories than usual.
So, I don’t think anyone like ANYONE should ever drink on a cleanse. I went out got way to hammered off not too many drinks and ended up laying on the floor of my kitchen with a barf bag next to me… Not my finest hour.
That next day was extremely and I mean EXTREMELY difficult not only did I feel more shitty than usual but taking pills and drinking shakes was just not my mood. I ended up eating well and making a mushroom soup and then for dinner coconut curry soup. Both were delish and by 5pm I felt back to normal.
The following day was DAY 5, I was going to do 8 days but honestly, I was just over it. I drank my first shake and threw it up from the taste. Let’s just say cleanses just may not be my thing.
HOWEVER, I did reap serious benefits from only these 5 days. I lost 5 lbs (insane) My stomach looks flatter and I feel less bloated. My cravings have basically just disappeared. I am eating way less, and smaller portion sizes are more filling. I have even been practicing not finishing everything and seeing if I am still hungry 10-15 minutes later. I have been more on top of my water intake, and been paying more attention to my day to day pills such as probiotics. Overall I would say because of the benefits, Purium was good for me. Other than the foul shakes (DO NOT GET APPLE BERRY) it was a good challenge and I’m glad I gave it a try. I might try again in the future maybe only 5 days again or the full ten. At any rate, I am proud of myself for giving it a shot.